I hear the news. I go into my room and close the door. I grieve alone. The grief of losing a beloved animal is not forced, it is felt. The pain I feel is real. This magnificent creature came into my life many years ago. She filled me with joy! The thrill of seeing her was genuine. The smiles she garnered were lasting. Each spring the anticipation one felt waiting for her to emerge from the den was met with pure jubilation. Some of the best days that I have spent in the Tetons were spent with her.

I introduced her to my friends and family. They fell in love with her and all of her cubs. They continued to follow her journey after they left the Tetons. My little niece dressed up as her for Halloween. 399 touched so many lives in so many ways. She touched mine.

And now she is gone. I am sad. I am shaken. I ask myself “would you give up all those hours, days, months and years spent with her to not feel the heartache now?” And the answer is no. The harder you love, the harder you feel the loss. But I am glad I loved her. I am blessed and quite fortunate to have spent time in her presence. I have a greater appreciation for grizzly bears because of her.

A highlight of my time with her was when I saw her nurse her four cubs the day before she “kicked them out”.

There were so many highlights. Any occasion with her was special. If you have a friend or family member who knew her, then you have someone close to you who is sad today. You have someone who may need a hug. The sadness they are feeling is very real. This bear moved people in so many ways. She brought joy and happiness to so many. She will be missed. A void will be felt this spring. Sadness will be felt in all her usual places. But we must still go there. We must remember her always.

Long live 399

For the love of a bear.

Wilderness. I crave it. Solitude. I seek it. It is April and by all accounts spring. As I walk today, I’m reminded that April in Wyoming contains all the remnants of winter. It was 20 degrees this morning when I left the house. Snow still measured in feet, not inches. I am far enough away from highways and homes to hear nothing. Have you ever listened to the sound of silence? It is really quite glorious. Calm. Peaceful. I stand for a while and take it all in. I close my eyes and I feel the sun on my face. Serenity. A racing mind comes to a halt. Silence. I embrace it. I stand motionless. A moment of zen. Only to be broken by the caw of a Raven in the distance. I continue my journey. The sereneness and calmness remain. There are no footprints in the snow. Only tracks from the wildlife who call this area home. I notice something in the distance. Something lying in the snow.

Motionless. Was the winter too cruel?

I look through my binoculars. The harsh reality of winter weighs heavy on my heart. Not all creatures are equipped to withstand winter’s grip. I continue to look for signs of life. It is a coyote. I’m hoping to see the rising and lowering of her chest. An indication that she is still breathing. Please lift your head beautiful creature. I’m not sure how much time passed. I noticed bear tracks nearby but I did not see any signs of trauma to the coyote. I heard the squeaking of a squirrel. And then much to my surprise, I realized the coyote heard it too!! She lifted her head. She appeared annoyed that the nearby critter interrupted what was a very enjoyable nap in the afternoon sun. She sniffed the air, stood up, then looked my way. We looked at each other.

Although I felt bad that the squirrel interrupted the coyote’s sleep. I must admit I was quite relieved to know, this lovely creature made it through winter. Perhaps she too was seeking solitude. Perhaps the sound of silence lulled her into an afternoon nap. Resting peacefully in the glistening snow. She knew the chattering noise that brought her gleeful rest to an end was not that of a predator. She did not wake alarmed by the sound, just irritated. Maybe she was in the middle of a good dream.

When she stood, she gave me one final glance before heading into the sagebrush and out of sight.

And once again I’m surrounded by the sound of silence.

As a child my days were spent outside. Climbing trees, playing in the woods, jumping across the strategically placed stones allowing me to go from one side of the creek to the other. Nature was and has always been my happy place. Those early days were responsible for forming the bond I currently have with the great outdoors. I am grateful for the forests, the wildlife, the mountains, the trails, and the rivers. All are sources of great joy. I love watching a sunrise. I love watching a sunset. And I love filling the hours in between by watching and listening to birds, photographing wild animals, taking hikes, anything that places me in nature. The benefits of spending time in nature are well known. The list includes reducing stress, improving mood, calming us down, decreasing anxiety. All things that lead to better health and well being.

I attribute my health (both mental and physical) to the time I spend in nature. However, recently I experienced a devastating loss. My sister passed away. My heart ached and I found myself engulfed in feelings of great sadness. I missed her so much. Losing someone you love is an incredibly painful experience. I was grieving. Mourning is a very personal experience. Everyone deals with loss in their own way. My way was to run to nature. I went to all my favorite places. The sadness and heartache was still there. Where was my smile? Where was the joy? My wise niece said to me “don’t think of it as your happy place, for now think of it as your healing place.” She was so right. To find both my smile and the joy, I needed to look at things in a different way. Nature was now my healing place. I let nature heal me. I paid more attention to the beauty surrounding me. I looked for signs that everything was going to be OK. I found so many of them that made me realize my sister was still with me. The Cardinal flashing me the peace sign.

The Calliope Hummingbird that showed up in a place where I had never seen one before.

I immersed myself in nature in a new way and I let the healing process begin. Nature has helped heal my broken heart. I learned that if you let it, the beauty surrounding you can be very comforting. I once read that grief is not a place to stay. You must find ways to overcome your grief. For me it was going outside. To the water, the mountains, the woods. And letting these places bring joy back into my life. Everyone is dealing with something. Find peace in the natural areas that surround you. Look at the flowers, the trees, the rivers, the landscape in a new way. Let nature heal you. And for all that Mother Nature does to help us overcome loss and to feel better, don’t we owe it to her to protect and preserve her. Together we can make the world a better place.

AD Williams said “When I look into the eyes of an animal, I do not see an animal. I see a living being, I see a friend. I feel a soul.”

I must admit, I feel the same way. I feel very blessed when I am close enough to wildlife to look into their eyes. I also feel very fortunate to be moved in a way that makes me feel such compassion and to be a person who cares so much for their safety and well-being. I take comfort in their presence.

I do not feel fear. I am more afraid of people. If I had one wish it would be for people to care about these magnificent creatures. For everyone to look into their eyes and to feel their soul. We have an obligation to protect the wildlife that roams this earth.

These creatures do not desire to bring harm to us. We should bring no harm to them.

“Man is the only animal who causes pain to others with no other object than wanting to do so”

Arthur Schopenhauer

If more people realized we need wildlife for our well-being and for our survival, perhaps more people would find it in their hearts to protect them. To protect their habitat.

These animals have families. Their main focus is survival. They need food, shelter, and water. They work hard to protect one another. They live in fear of man and do what they can to avoid humans. I understand why they feel that way.

When you see an animal, look into their eyes:

See a living being.

See a friend.

Feel a soul.

I first watched a Humpback Whale breech over 20 years ago. I cried like a little baby. They were tears of joy and the lovely memory stays with me still today. I cried when my favorite bear (399) showed up with four cubs several years ago when many wondered if she would come out of the den at all.

I cried this year when once again, to everyone’s amazement, she emerged from the den with a coy in tow.

There have been many times in nature that I find myself feeling very emotional. Probably never more than when I had the pleasure of visiting the home of one of the most magnificent creatures on earth – the mighty Polar Bear!!

I had a very physical and moving reaction while standing on the ship witnessing a creature of this magnitude walk towards me. Besides feeling incredibly grateful, the tears that streamed down my face were a reminder of the impact being in nature can have on one’s soul. To this day I smile when thinking of any of these encounters. So the tears, the crying – they are good things. They are normal. They are welcome. So many of these tears of joy were courtesy of the wildlife I have been blessed to encounter. I truly believe being in nature heightens your senses and makes you vulnerable to feelings you wouldn’t expect to have. The sight of the mountains, the sound of an elk bugling, the feel of the dirt trail beneath your feet, the smell of a fresh evergreen. And of course, I’m convinced any meal consumed by a fresh stream just tastes better!!! Thank You nature for bringing my senses to life! And for the joy you bring!!! Even if sometimes it in is the form of tears. ✌️💚Nature

I’m happy anytime I see wildlife. A fox pouncing in a snow covered meadow. Sometimes with a catch, sometimes coming up empty handed. A lone wolf in search of food. The first Red Dogs of spring, learning the ropes. A moose with her newborn calf. What a joy to watch how protective she is. I don’t just look, I observe their behavior. Camera in hand, I try to capture images that tell their story.

Many times I observe with binoculars or with the naked eye. Grateful to be in a place where the wildlife live free and their stories play right out in front of me. If you add up all the living creatures on this earth (humans, domestic animals, livestock), wildlife accounts for only 4% of the total. That is one of the reasons I feel so grateful to be in their presence. They are so magnificent and yet so few. Any sighting is a blessing.

The other day I was witness to an incredible story. As I was driving down the road, I observed a herd of elk on the hillside. It is not uncommon to see Elk here in Wyoming. There are thousands right now calling the Elk Refuge in Jackson home. They are preparing for the migration that will soon take place. I’m used to seeing hundreds of them together just grazing. Today, away from the refuge, there was something else going on.

It was clear that the elk on the hillside sensed danger. I pulled over to watch the story unfold. The bulls were leading the charge to bring the herd to a safer place. The herd was running! You could see the look of fear on their faces, but also a look of determination.

I knew there were grizzlies in the area (I saw three the day before). So I was pretty certain what was causing the elk to behave this way. I wasn’t certain if I was going to witness a take down. In the spring, a grizzly may prey on a young calf. But it is too early for newborns. This is a herd of adult and young adult elk. Based on the elks’ speed, I was pretty certain they would outrun the Grizzly.

The herd would run and then continue to look back to see if predators were in sight. At this point I just kept watching and was amazed at their determination. I knew something was causing them to sense danger, but as I scanned the hillside I saw nothing. A few cars drove by. But I remained alone on the roadside. I knew if I was patient, I would see the predator(s). I walked along the road, binoculars in hand and continued to observe. Nature – what a show these creatures were putting on. Although the elk were unaware of my presence and had no intention of being the center of attention. They were doing what prey needed to do to survive. Outrun their predator!

And today they did. I finally got a glimpse of what was causing the elk to behave the way they did. Three grizzlies making their way up the hillside in the direction of the elk. I waited another 30 minutes to see how this story would end. The elk went one way, the grizzlies another way. It was a mama bear with her two young cubs. Perhaps she realized this herd was strong and the bulls were too protective.

Perhaps she found another source of food beyond the ridge line where I could no longer observe them. What I do know is that I witnessed wildlife in their natural environment coming together to tell a story. I understand it is survival of the fittest in the Greater Yellowstone Ecosystem. The story today was a herd of elk sensing danger and sticking together to overcome any loss to the family. Their instinct to run kept them alive. Today.

The elk will face many more challenges in the future. And the bears will continue their plight to survive. And I will continue to spend time in nature watching these stories unfold. The funny thing is I was driving down the road in search of lunch! I guess the bears and I had something in common today!! ✌️🤎🐻

It is never easy to say Good-Bye. With a heavy heart I think to myself, I’m not ready to say Good-Bye. I still want to call you. I still want to see you. I still want to say “what are you doing”. You have been in my life from the day I was born. And now you are not here. My heart is breaking. I think of the song we liked so much.

“Remember you said you always gonna need me. Remember you said you’d never ever leave me. Remember, remember, I’m asking you, begging you. Stay with me.”

I think of you when you were young. I see your beautiful long brown hair. How full of life and love you were. I have happy memories. I will remember your beautiful face the way you would want me to. Free of pain. Free of suffering. You fought so hard. I know you did not want to go. You made sure your last words to me were “ I Love You”. How lucky am I to know those were the words we said to each other one last time.?

It is always better to say something kind. We never know when we might speak our last words to someone. We have the power with the words we speak to bring great joy. And sadly, to inflict great pain. If what you said to a loved one were your last words to them, how would that make you feel? If we all think twice about that, we might just find ourselves living in a better world. One where kindness prevails and we lift others by the nice things we say.

Your last words…”I Love You”. It’s the only thing right now that is helping ease the pain of losing you.

Your baby sister will love you forever.❤️

Is Seeing Believing? An answer once so obvious now has me wondering. I found myself saying “I can’t believe what I’m seeing” more than once during my Arctic Adventure.

I know I am lucky to have visited this remote and pristine place. The top of our world visited by so few. It is a delicate balance for Svalbard. Too many visitors can lead to destruction. Not enough can result in an isolated area being forgotten and not cared about. We must care about this area. What happens in the Arctic will impact all of us. As we set sail on day one I was eager to learn more about the region. The next 8 days were filled with bewilderment, excitement, and gratitude.

Who knew there could be so many shades of blue and white! With pink intertwined at sunrise and sunset. These views will not be forgotten. These views will remind me always of a place so beautiful. A place on earth which serves such an important role. So far away and seldom thought of by many, yet controls the destiny of all.

Most who visit come to see the Polar Bear. There is no guarantee of a sighting. This land is vast. This is their home. This is where they roam. But they are not here for us. They live in such harsh conditions and survival is very difficult. I am grateful to have seen the most magnificent creature on earth. I am forever changed after looking into the eyes of this bear. I am also changed for having witnessed a mother bear showing her young cub how to survive.

I witnessed this mom hunting reindeer. The food needed to give both of them a fighting chance. She was unsuccessful at the hunt. But she was still teaching her young one survival skills. The young cub stood nearby watching intently as mom galloped across the frozen tundra. The reindeer, very much aware of their presence, took off quickly as the chase unfolded. I noticed a young reindeer. This young one also learning survival skills. In the harshest of environments, it truly is survival of the fittest. Perhaps when we left, the Polar Bear had a successful hunt. Seals are their main food source. It wasn’t until several years ago that the reindeer became prey of the bear. A sign that things are definitely changing in the Arctic.

Many days were spent exploring the Fjords of Svalbard. Open seas lead to the pack ice of the North Pole. Wilderness! Miles and miles of water, ice, and sky. The landscape constantly changing. Many hours spent on the bough of the boat. Winds howling and temperatures many degrees below zero. But if I go inside I may miss something. I did not want to go in!

For days the only sign of life were the birds flying above the boat or floating on the open water. Black Guillemots, Northern Fulmars, Terns and Gulls.

It was a treat to also see the amazing Walrus! Sometimes alone and sometimes a mom with her young calf.

As the miles drifted by and there was no wildlife to be seen, I still felt the presence of life. As I looked around I found life in the ice. The shapes constantly changing. There was always movement. The ice was alive.

Ice Ice Baby – it was everywhere. The sounds the sights. Wild life in its own form. I never tired of the sights.

My Arctic adventure. Although it has come to an end. It will remain in my heart and soul for the rest of my life. I will remember those days forever!!

New adventure, new friends made, new memories. I was not afraid to travel half way around the world by myself. I will never stop exploring.

I have traveled far over the past three years. All the trips have been within the states and to familiar and beloved places. What a joy to see newborn grizzlies, elk shedding their antlers, Eagles feeding their young, a Great Gray Owl in the snow and Puffins for the first time.

Everyday is a new adventure, everyday is a new start, everyday brings new joy. I have become very comfortable on the road. I feel as home on a Wyoming back road as I do anywhere. The forgotten coast of Florida is a familiar backyard now. The freeway feels like home.

In one week I will be stepping out of my comfort zone. I will be traveling across the world to see one of the most magnificent creatures this world has to offer. From Pittsburgh to London, from London I fly to Oslo. From Oslo to Svalbard. I will be boarding a ship in Svalbard to head into the waters and ice of the Svalbard Islands. These Islands are in the Arctic Ocean halfway between Norway and the North Pole. I’m heading to the place Polar Bears call home. Unfamiliar territory for me for sure!! I am so excited to learn more about this area. I will be traveling with some of the top experts on Polar Bears. Explorers who have seen the impact climate change has had on this region. I am looking forward to learning from them and gaining an understanding of how this region affects the rest of the world. I am looking forward to seeing an animal so incredible I’m sure it will bring tears to my eyes upon first glimpse. I will definitely be outside of my comfort zone, and unlike the road where I am in charge of the route and destination, someone else will be leading the charge. I have to turn over the reins to the captain of the ship. Taking me to an area that I have only dreamed of. I will be unplugged for 10 days. No cell, no internet, no email.

Come back soon to see the images I capture on this amazing adventure. The Polar Bears do not have a voice. They are doing their best to survive. I want to share images of these creatures to help give them a voice. I want to be an ambassador who will help others care about these creatures and this area. I want to share the beauty.✌️🤍

K

While in Grand Teton National Park it is quite natural to look up. To look up at the bluest of skies, to look up at the Aspen trees glistening in the sun, and of course to look up at one of the most spectacular of all mountain ranges.

As an avid birder, I would like to encourage you to look up for another reason. This area is a great place to find some fun and exciting birds. If you are walking a trail, keep your eye out for the Steller’s Jay, Canada Jay, and the masked Cedar Waxwing.

Sparrows abound in the park. It’s always fun to determine if you have found a Song Sparrow, Swamp Sparrow, or pictured below, a Lincoln’s Sparrow. (Maybe you will find all three!!)

The splendor of the Mountain Bluebird is always a treat.

If you are lucky to visit the park in the spring, you may also be lucky enough to spot the colorful Western Tanager. The vibrant yellow and red makes it one of the easier birds to spot.

No matter the season, keep your eye out for the birds that call The Grand Teton area home or the ones that may just be passing through. The smallest bird that I’ve seen is the Calliope Hummingbird and the largest I’ve seen is the Trumpeter Swan. And there are so many in between. This fall, I had the pleasure of witnessing the adult and colt Sandhill Crane flying by.

Whenever I am near water I keep my eye on the sky for the reliable sightings of the Bald Eagle and the Osprey. I have spotted them together on multiple occasions. (Normally going to battle over a fish).

I have only mentioned a handful of the sightings. For a more complete list of the birds found in this area, eBird is a great resource. I always like to check it to see which birds have been spotted in the last 3 days. It is also a great resource for finding the local hotspots.

Hawks, swallows, warblers, oh my!!! They are here. And they can be found if you just look up!